This person has a self-depracating humour to deal with everything that is ”hard” emotionally. (And has admitted to using humour as a defense-mechanism).

How do you get someone who’s never been in a relationship before to open up?

"Do you need comfort or solutions"? Important question to ask when someone is having a bad time. = Note to self who is always in solution mode.

Due to the incompetence of my landlord, I decided to fix a path so I at least can walk to my apartment without climbing over tons of snow.

28. Trusting someone else's feeling above my own.
29. Not being honest about my emotions just to keep the peace and in doing so, violating my identity.
30. Believing I have to share every emotion I have.

31. Giving everything you've got, but not expecting anything in return.
32. Internally or externally rejecting love when someone tries to give it to you.
33. Thinking that I am worthy if I am loved. If I get attention, and someone love me, then I am worthy, if not, I am pathetic/sad/ not worth anything.

37. Changing to accommodate partner because you are too afraid to be alone.
38. "Hinting" at my needs instead of directly asking for them.
39. Not sharing what I want and/or need.
40. Thinking that all conflicts are unhealthy.

34. Not letting myself relax, and getting frustrated at my partner for relaxing.
35. Becoming defensive to avoid admitting anything that makes my image feel less than.
36. Getting frustrated with my partner when their pace is slower than mine & then talking over them (the effiency prevents me from having what I really want... connection!)

41. Making all the decisions.
42. Trying to "improve" my partner or myself.
43. Ignoring all the tension in my body and refusing to relax.
44. Thinking that my inner critic always knows 'the truth'.
45. Becoming nasty when i'm angry.

50.
Assuming the worst. After a huge fight thinking "this is so over", and retreating, pulling away, taking your ring off, etcetera. Every fight is horrible, but not so horrible so you can't work it out with time and space, and working together to make amends.
Blamegame is not a good way to respond. In a fight, there are no winners or losers. Just two people who desperately seeks connection, communication and safety.

46. Not respecting the other persons perspective.
47. Not working through things when it gets difficult, shutting people down, digging your heels in, shutting them out.
48. Not taking responsibility for your actions in a fight or heated discussion.
49. Blaming your partner when things aren't working.

and last. but not least....

24. Saying that my partner's feelings are illogical and dismissing them.
25. Fear of depending too much on someone else.
26. Being too private, keeping things to myself, and don't show how you really feel.
27. Being dominate through intellect, i.e making your partner feel stupid.

21. Putting up with being treated like crap.
22. Projecting my fears.
23. "Hermiting", I just can't pull away when things get hard.
- This is something, that I, sad to say, keep doing. it's like I want to protect myself emotionally, keeping people out, and isolating myself in my own world so I don't get hurt.

18. Pushing away my loved ones when I am feeling insecure, angry or worried.
19. Learning to have difficult conversations instead of avoiding.
20. Assuming that when people correct me, that they either hate me or that they are being rude.

13. Not listening actively.
14. (this is a callback to number 5)
Trying to fix everything at once.
15. Avoiding or ignoring any emotion that feels negative.
16. Getting frustrated at people when they are not moving back to happiness quick enough.
17. Planning something fun without your partner taken into consideration.

9. Not apologizing when you know you're wrong.
10. Lashing out with hurtful words to regain a sense of strength.
11. Letting stress control my reactions.
12. (this is the most important one, IMHO)
Lying about my feelings or holding back.

1. People-pleasing
2. Numbing your own feelings
3. Not setting boundaries for yourself.
4. Being passive-aggressive when you're angry.

Okay. So. Let's talk relationships and what we can unlearn, meaning, the things we do in relationships that are (sort-of) abusive and/or self-destructive and that we vow to try to not do again.