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1. Dan Fixes Coin-Ops (ifixcoinops@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 14-Jul-2022 14:27:09 UTC Dan Fixes Coin-Ops

   I feel sorry for phone reviewers, trying to type out five thousand words without breaking down and gibbering "It's a black rectangle! Just like your last phone! My job is pointless!"

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   • brennen (brennen@federation.p1k3.com)'s status on Thursday, 14-Jul-2022 16:36:44 UTC brennen

     in reply to

     @ifixcoinops a billion person hours of engineering time getting rid of headphone jacks and buttons because, they assure you, patting your head like you're a recalcitrant toddler, water might get inside your black rectangle.

     meanwhile: i know what if we put a hinge down the middle of the combo display and only allowed input device?

   • Dan Fixes Coin-Ops (ifixcoinops@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 14-Jul-2022 16:36:44 UTC Dan Fixes Coin-Ops

     in reply to

     • brennen

     @brennen who are all these people who dunk their phones in water anyway, I've never done that

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   • Dan Fixes Coin-Ops (ifixcoinops@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 14-Jul-2022 16:36:45 UTC Dan Fixes Coin-Ops

     in reply to

     • brennen

     @brennen Foldable means another thing to wear out even faster than the battery, so manufacturers are ALL IN ON THAT

   • brennen (brennen@federation.p1k3.com)'s status on Thursday, 14-Jul-2022 16:36:46 UTC brennen

     in reply to

     @ifixcoinops nothing is a more perfect encapsulation of this than the the thing where they won't stop trying to make foldable screens happen so you can have... a black square, i guess?

     just give me a fucking keyboard, you cowards!!!

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   • Art Nouveau Appreciator (jetengineweasel@hackers.town)'s status on Thursday, 14-Jul-2022 16:36:54 UTC Art Nouveau Appreciator

     in reply to

     • brennen

     @ifixcoinops @brennen I’m a firefighter so water resistance is something i care a lot about lmao. Nothings worse than kneeling in 2 feet of water and then realizing that your phone is in your pocket 🤦

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   • brennen (brennen@federation.p1k3.com)'s status on Thursday, 14-Jul-2022 16:37:23 UTC brennen

     in reply to

     @ifixcoinops i can't just be allowed to *type* with *keys* on these things and haven't been able to for like a decade, but at least they've advanced to the point where it's physically impossible to plug headphones in at the same time as you charge the fucking battery.

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   • Dan Fixes Coin-Ops (ifixcoinops@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 14-Jul-2022 16:38:51 UTC Dan Fixes Coin-Ops

     in reply to

     Universal Phone Review:
     Form factor: black rectangle
     Screen: Same as your old phone but not as worn out/burned in
     Camera: almost imperceptibly better
     Battery life: Initially as good as your old phone was when it was new, then worse
     Performance: see above
     Looks/thickness: whatever case you end up getting off ebay
     Headphone connectivity: slightly less convenient

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