I’ve heard tale that “the boys” are back in town

Give a hint, take a hint. The hint exchange

hammers: everything’s a nail

Smalltalk: everything’s an object
ML: everything’s a function
chemists: everything’s a chemical

Well, I suppose incrementing it every time you reference it is true to the spirit of C++'s featureset

I keep hearing about JS in Excel but tbh I don't think that's really a terrible idea

You: Intel architecture
Me: Actually, Intel is the manufacturer. You're thinking of Intel's monster.