A time traveller from the 2000's visits a modern software company

traveller: all your laptops have 32 GB of RAM in them?! Your devs must be doing some really heavy stuff, what the hell do they need all that memory for?

guide: web browsing.

traveller: ...you fukken wat mate?

another good one I've heard:

He's making a list

He's checking it twice

He's gonna find out who's naughty or nice

Santa Claus is in contravention of article 5 of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679

I've realised that some non-English-English speakers may be confused by the British reaction to Mark Zuckerberg sending other people in his place after his invitation to speak to the UK Parliament

While "you are invited to Parliament to speak on this subject" may be interpreted as "we'd like you come and talk if it's not too much bother" to some foreign ears, the phrase actually means "COME HERE RIGHT THIS SECOND YOU LITTLE SHIT AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF"

Turns out your average horse can actually output 14.9 horsepower

I feel lied to