Our 10 year old daughter wrote a contract - adorned in flowers, butterflies, and glitter - that we playfully signed. It gives her the right to have the final say over the name of the puppy we adopted. Signing it was a mistake. She named our puppy Bella Hella Fluffa McFartypants.

Woman on the street in London asked me for directions to her hotel, as I checked on my phone she made a comment about needing to avoid 'the gays' at 'that awful pride march', spoken with a really disgusted tone. So I sent her the wrong way.

My wife is a 54 year old manager. She went out for some wine with her friends last night. Today there is a traffic cone in our hallway. I love her so much.